A Letter to my Son

Dear Zachary,

As you enter early adolescence, exciting times are indeed ahead as your world opens up to new experiences, but before you step out and begin your journey to becoming an adult, I hope you remember these five lessons that have always been a part of our many conversations all throughout your young life; most from books that I’ve read, many from homilies of our favorite priest, some my personal realizations.

Love what you do. Appreciate what you’ve been given.

The world will tell you to follow your heart, and that to be happy, you must do what you love (as though suggesting that if you’re not doing what you enjoy doing, then you must not have a happy life) but knowing with absolute certainty that our God, who is fully alive and present here and now, is in control, and that EVERYTHING that happens happens according to His perfect will, then don’t you agree that the opposite must be true? We must learn to love what we’re doing. Instead of being a slave of our desires and always aspiring for what we don’t have, I hope that you learn to love and appreciate all the blessings that come your way with a grateful heart because everything is a gift from God — your talent, Daddy and I, our family and friends, your teachers and classmates, and later on those job opportunities, challenging assignments that will stretch you beyond your comfort zone, yes even that special lady who will become your wife – EVERYTHING IS GRACE. So, love what you do and appreciate what you have.

Whatever you do, give it your 100% for the greater glory of God.

If you haven’t yet, I’m sure later on you will hear of the 10,000-Hour Rule mentioned repeatedly in this popular book on success called “The Outliers” by Malcolm Gladwell, one of my favorite authors, which claims that the key to achieving expertise in any skill relies on practicing for a total of 10,000 hours. To a certain extent I believe that’s true. Time is the greatest equalizer and what we do with the limited time we’re given determines the great from the good, and well, also who gets left behind. But in clocking in the 10,000 hours for a skill that you want to be great in, I hope you always remember your WHY. No, not “to be successful” as the world will lead you to believe, because SUCCESS should not be the goal but merely the outcome of giving something your best shot. Rather, I hope you will devote 10,000 hours or more and 100% effort, as a way for you to reciprocate the abundant love that you’ve received all your life (packaged as talents, opportunities, or some may even call luck), to bring glory to our Lord, Jesus Christ, the greatest gift from God. #AdMajoremDeiGloriam

Life is a trade-off so choose wisely.

I know that you know this by heart because we’ve been ingraining this in you since you were a child. How for every YES, there is a corresponding NO. You know that saying YES to a day of doing nothing except playing video games is equivalent to a day of saying NO to doing something more productive. On the flip side, saying NO to the temptation to quit when the going gets tough means saying YES to pushing on and persevering to overcome that challenge. As we heard in homilies, Yes it’s true that God gave us FREE WILL and yes, we have the freedom to choose, but we don’t have the liberty to choose the consequences of our choices.

There’s a term #YOLO that young adults use to seize the moment and it may have gotten a negative connotation of careless disregard for norms or safety even, but I think understood a different way, it is actually very powerful. You Only Live Once. So choose wisely.

Guard your heart. Always.

If there’s one thing that keeps me up at night, it’s (over)thinking how I can protect you from all the lies that the world will eventually feed you to influence you to conform to its ways. You’re very familiar with the saying, “Sow a thought, reap a deed. Sow a deed, reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a character. Sow a character, reap a destiny” and if only I can be with you all day, every second, to filter what enters your mind, if only to guard your heart, I would…but we know that’s not possible. So instead, I pray that you remember to always examine your thoughts and emotions because those determine the course of your life.

Be very discerning of what and who to believe, especially when it comes to who you are because “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7). And if doubt ever creeps in, I suggest to play the song that we always listen to, “Who You Say I Am” by Hillsong, its message I paraphrased below:

You are a child of God
Yes you are
In our Father’s house
There’s a place for you
You’re a child of God
Yes you are

You are chosen
Not forsaken
You are who God says You are
God is for you
Not against you
You are who God says You are

Let NO ONE lead you to believe otherwise.

Always have the courage and boldness to make the changes when needed.

Lastly, If you ever find yourself in a situation that doesn’t bring you joy, by all means, MOVE. No, this is not a free pass to quit when you’re no longer happy with what you’re doing, nor do I mean that it’s okay to just change your mind and not follow through with your decisions.

To put it in the proper context, remember one of your favorite homilies on the distinction between happiness and Joy? Happiness is a choice–It’s really all about mindset, perspective, looking at the glass as half-full, problems as opportunities; but Joy is a gift—It is the peace in your heart that comes from knowing that you are doing the right thing, not by your standards, but by God’s standards.

So if you find yourself in a position where you are going against the will of God, know that the door is always open and you can stand up and get out because you are FREE.

I hope this serves as a constant reminder to you that you are loved and nothing, no one, can change that truth.

Here for you always, Mommy