Let’s talk about Infant Stimulation

Earlier today, our son was one of the recipients of the Silver Award for the International Singapore Maths Competition (ISMC), and in between trying to hold back happy tears and regulating my breathing to slow-down the pace of my heart bursting with pride, I can’t help but wonder how we managed to raise this incredibly talented boy.

With all praise and thanksgiving to our Creator, we have been blessed with a good and perfect son that’s been an absolute joy to raise from Day 0. A classic textbook baby, he was one of the rare few born on his exact Expected Delivery Date with no need of artificially inducing labor. He hit all milestones right on time with most being ahead of schedule, likes challenges, generally good-natured, sometimes shortfused (like his momma), sometimes intense and competitive with self-imposed high expectations of himself, but over-all a very responsible and loving boy. Since he was younger, he was blessed with an excellent attention span, clear, uncluttered mind, knew what he wanted, articulates his thoughts and plans, and with focus and determination, finishes what he started.

Until now, I still haven’t figured out what my husband and I could have done in this lifetime to deserve this unmerited blessing of a child, but I thought maybe I can share some defining highlights of our first three years as new parents, in case you find our personal experience useful and applicable for your journey as well. 🙂

Tip # 1: No TV or Gadget for the first year of life (at least)

If you happen to know me way back mid 2010 to mid 2013, you probably have this impression of me being the obstinate mother of my only son (who by the way was 0-3 years old at that time) and I will perfectly understand. After all, we followed rules and routines to the letter, most important of which was my number ONE rule of NO TV until my son celebrated his 1st birthday, and NO Gadget until he turned three. Looking back, I realize that I maaaay have been too strict (If you were one of many heads this lioness mommy bit off for forgetting those rules, I apologize) but then again, the stakes are too high and I am not willing to gamble.

You see, I was on medical bed rest for most of my pregnancy and being the book worm (slash closet nerd) that I am, I used this time to pore over books and research intensively on two topics that I got a bit (okay, a lot) obsessed about: Infant Stimulation and Early Childhood Brain Development and well, the effects of TV and Gadgets on young minds have been long-researched and now-proven to be unfavorable to put it mildly. As I’m sure all moms all over the world will understand, protecting our cubs is one of our primal instincts and that was one of many ways I (over)protected mine.

Tip # 2: Trust me. Infant Stimulation works!

While shielding my son from the perils of early exposure to TV and gadgets had been purely deliberate, my interest on Infant Stimulation was actually accidental, and all began when my aunt gifted me with a book that would prove to be influential in how I would raise my son.

The author’s premise was simple: “The first three years are critical for the developing brain (because) the brain grows at a rapid pace and the brain cells are forming interconnections with one another at a startling rate (during this time).“ So it got me (over)thinking… If this was the case and I actually have that window of opportunity to influence my child’s ability to absorb, verify, interpret, deduce and apply knowledge or information, why shouldn’t I at least try? Or better yet, why shouldn’t I give it all I’ve got?

Since nurturing the brain should start as soon as my baby is born, I got to work when I was six-months pregnant, and started making DIY flash cards based on the illustrations found in the book.

Lucky for me, the book came with a detailed, easy-to-follow Infant Stimulation Program for the first year of the child’s life, targeting all vital senses such as vision, hearing, speech and language, divided into quarters, and all I really needed to do was to plot the critical windows of opportunity on my calendar and administer the training, carefully following the author’s tips and suggestions.

Being a working mom, I also trained our yaya (nanny) to do the Flash Card Training Technique (which basically means the flash card needs to be 18 inches from my baby’s eyes, flashed rapidly 1 card every second) so that my son can benefit from Infant Stimulation even while I was away. We did this regularly for his first year of life, increasing the complexity of the words and dots as he grew older.

It’s a shame that upon checking, the website indicated www.infantstimuli.com has been discontinued, but good news is, the book is still being sold in Amazon. https://www.amazon.com/Infant-Stimuli-Dr-M-D-Mansoor/dp/0973294604

For all pregnant moms, or those with kids three years old and below, I highly recommend investing on a copy. Or if not, a quick google on the subject will also show you similar articles and books.

Tip # 3: Talk, talk, talk to your baby.

On top of this, I also read a lot of studies and testimonials on the effect of conversing with kids, even if the conversation is one-way at first. The more words they hear, the faster they learn to talk and the bigger their vocabulary becomes. Yes, this is apparently better than playing classical music as the child is most receptive to the voice of his mommy. Now I won’t be so brazen as to claim that talking to your babies will result in them talking sooner than expected, but from my personal experience, I started talking to my son on my third trimester, when I know he can already hear, and well, it worked for us – he started “conversing” (by that I mean, responded to baby talk like “where is mommy?” and he would say “there!” or “can you call daddy?” and he will say “dada!”) at ten months old.

I hope you find the three tips will work for you too. Over and beyond the apparent benefits to my son’s IQ, what we are more proud of are its seeming impact to his EQ and AQ as well. Potty training and weaning him off the bottle, for example, were as easy as a pie. We simply talked to him the night before, demonstrated the changes, explained our expectations, and voila! He followed and adjusted with no resistance. One time when he was four, his seven-year-old cousin accidentally bumped into him while they were both running, causing him to fall hard. He wailed from the pain and cried his heart out, but when we explained that it was an accident and his cousin feels bad about hurting him, he stopped crying instantly, and resumed playing with her. No hard feelings. That ease by which he bounced back after suffering a blow, that resilience, is what we are most thankful for.

He’s eight years old now and like most boys, keeping him off and away from TV and gadgets aren’t as easy as before, and most days I wished he loved reading and books like me. But then again, I see that he loves school, actively plays with his friends, has well-formed study habits and passion for his chosen extra-curricular activities (golf, piano and art for now), and I really can’t complain. Do we still regulate his TV and gadget time? Definitely. Does he still follow a schedule even during weekends? Yes he does. For both instances, we have these guardrails to ensure that everything is done in moderation. After all, we are all human and the propensity to abuse privileges will always be a struggle to overcome, and I believe that’s where we parents must step in.

So… were those three years of dedicated raising, rearing and training my son, all worth it? Of course it is and I wouldn’t have it any other way. If I may paraphrase the quote of Leo Buscaglia on Talent: Your [child] is God’s gift to you. What you do with your [child] is your gift back to God.